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Jay's Site.com > Humor > Jokes > Michael Jackson Jokes
The Drug Squad raided Michael Jackson's house yesterday.
They found... a Class A drug in his kitchen, a Class B drug in his lounge, and most of class 4C in his bedroom.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.
`What's Michaels' next movie?
~Honey I Blew the Kid.
`What's Michaels' favorite group?
~New Kids on the Cock.
`What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
~Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.
`What's sex like for Michael?
~Like candy from a baby.
`What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from?
~Anal retention.
`What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common?
~Both are a pain in the ass to kids.
`What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung?
~Michael's been able to have kids.
`What's Michael's favorite dish?
~Creamed shrimp.
`Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
~He wants to spend more time with the kids.
`How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans?
~They all get fucked in the end.
`How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
~Hire a Catholic priest to do it.
`What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson?
~"The African Queen."
`How do we know Michael Jackson isn't really a virgin?
~He's got children out the ass.
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a
new video called... "I'll beat it for you."
`Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
~So he could be black again.
`How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds?
~They're both whiter than they should be.
Did you hear Michael Jackson was running a "blue-light" special at a local K-Mart?
Little boys' pants were half off!
What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
It's the little boy inside him.
How does Michael like to party?
He sips a couple of Tall Boys.
What's Michael's favorite snack?
Slim Jims.
What's Michael's favorite fast food?
Big Kids Meal.
How do we know Michael is guilty?
Several children have fingered him.
Why is Michael so tough?
He can lick any kid on the block.
What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends?
Liquefy some assets.
What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson?
One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated asshole.
What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex?
"Shit happens!"
McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Micheal Jackson Burger"...
It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.
Whats the difference between a horse racing jockey and Michael Jackson.
A jockey can mount 3 year olds legally.
What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to neverland ranch from drug rehab?
You know, I feel like a new boy!
Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
He's a crack addict.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
"Little Boy Blew."
Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
How did Michael get in trouble?
He was feeling a little Randy.
How is Michael dealing with his problems?
He's holding his own.
How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
They're all standing behind him.
How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
It was just a slip of the tongue.
What's sex like for Michael?
Child's Play.
How is Michael now?
Feeling a little crotchety.
Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
It comes in a little can.
Why does Michael like children so much?
He knows how they feel.
How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Plastic bag?
One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries.
Why does Michael own a theme park?
He's always been into children's shit.
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother
and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,
"Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black
or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay
or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers
none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding
and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
Why did Michael go to college?
To get his Bachelor of Arse degree.
Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
He's a crack shooter.
Why's Michael opening a sperm bank?
He always has a shitload of semen.
Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
Emily Dick in son.
What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A proctologist doesn't pay for the assholes he's poked around in.
Why doesn't Michael have orgasms?
The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's makeup.
Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar?
It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.
Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology": Spare the rod, spoil the child.
What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
He's like the little boy he never had.
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